When Cindy grows up, she will be a dinosaur
A T-Rex, as a matter of fact
And sweet little Molly wants to be a fierce shark
A great white, to be exact
Then there is Jesse, the smallest of all
Who will lead a lion attack
And if you tell these girls they should be princesses
You might wish to take those words back
Cindy will roar with tremendous strength
And ask “Are you trying to bore us?
Why would I be some frilly princess
When I can be a Tyrannosaurus?”
Then Molly will flash her sharp-toothed smile
And say, “I resent that remark.
Why would I be some helpless princess
When I am queen of the sharks?”
And if Cindy’s roar and Molly’s bite
Don’t make you take back what you’ve said
Then sweet Jesse, the greatest lion who lived
Will pounce and bite off your head
We welcomed him into our home
He had no place to stay
He was cute until we gave him food
Now he will not go away
At first, his appetite was mild
But then he just kept growing
What is the biggest he will get?
There is no way of knowing
He ate everything in the fridge
But still he needed more
We barely squeezed him in our car
To take him to the store
We filled up two whole grocery carts
But that only made him mad
He would not stop his awful screaming
‘Till we bought up all they had
An entire town’s worth of food
Only lasted him a week
And he expanded to fill up our house
From its basement to its peak
He was once a cute and cuddly thing
Until our house he did destroy
But I guess many others lost their home
Trying to feed a baby boy…
What is that foul thing?
What on earth could it be?
There’s something revolting
Staring straight back at me
It might be a bear
Since it’s furry and grumpy
But it could be a tortoise
Slow-moving and lumpy
Or is it a skunk?
My, it sure does stink!
I’ve not seen it before
I’m not sure what to think
I woke not long ago
And I am still groggy
My eyes have no focus
My brain is still foggy
With a yawn and a stretch
It’s now quite plain to see
This is a mirror, not a window
That strange beast, well, it’s me.
My hunger was great, and to help it to end
I roasted and gobbled up man’s best friend
I had raised my dog from a very young year
I knew all he ate; no reason to fear
People eat animals all of the time
Eating cows and piglets is never a crime
So why is everyone angry with me?
I ate my own dog, he was mine, don’t you see?
If I owned a duck and yet called it a pet
I could still eat its eggs and roast up its breast
If I raised a cow, then it would be quite okay
To chomp on their calf, grown strong from my hay
But I ate my pet dog, and you’re all so upset
“Why, oh why, would you eat your own pet?”
You’ll be happy to know, I won’t do it again
He tasted quite awful, my so-called best friend…