UPDATE as of 2/9/19: Nope.
But that’s no reason to take down the article…enjoy:
Time to share a little excitement.
I’m in the middle of editing my first novel, currently (could change) titled “The Madness of Mr. Butler.” I am in the middle of the developmental edit right now, with an expected release in early 2018. I get to be published because I won the Inkshares/Nerdist space opera contest last year. This means the world to me. I’ve hit a great milestone with the entire structure being in place, and the rewrites are going smoothly.
The book is becoming what I wanted it to become: a fun book to read with enjoyable characters. That’s all I want. I see myself as more of the Christopher Moore/Terry Pratchett influence rather than anyone who takes themselves too seriously.
Anyhow, instead of blathering on about me, I wanted to put up a post to present the current synopsis and pitch for the book. Perhaps you’ll be in the mood to head over to Inkshares and preorder a copy. Or you could do so on Amazon UK or the Book Depository, if you wish. I promise the book will make you smile, even if it’s just because it’s the perfect size for balancing out that wonky desk chair in your office. Every order makes me smile for at least a year, so please read the synopsis, check out the links, and if you think it would be something either you or a reader you love would enjoy, you could contribute to me smiling like a maniac for the rest of my days, creeping out everyone I know and love.
Here’s the skinny:
“Guardians of the Galaxy meets Rick and Morty”
After helping a psychiatric patient escape the hospital, a burned out ER nurse and his girlfriend are swept away on an intergalactic thrill ride to save Earth from annihilation at the hands of a blood thirsty space pirate.
The Voyager probes were sent out into the universe to give any alien life an idea of what things are like on Earth, and they were built under the assumption that any intelligent life they encountered would be curious and peaceful. In the past week, one of the probes has gone AWOL and the other seems to be headed straight back to Earth with some sort of alien megastructure attached. Hindsight is always 20/20, but it’s really a shame the probes included coordinates to Earth. Now, the world is panicking as an alien force is bounding toward our pale blue dot, making it difficult to assume anything other than destruction is on its agenda.
This general feeling of impending doom by the general public is not helping George Butler feel any better about his life. He is a burned out nurse at the busiest ER in the greater Cleveland area, and this “end is near” vibe sweeping the world has only quadrupled his patient load. On top of this, his girlfriend Eliza has been increasingly nervous and distant recently, and George fears that she is thinking of ending the relationship. All George wants to do is finish out his shift and spend some time with Eliza, hopefully convincing her to stay with him.
The last patient George sees is the cherry on top of a shit sundae of a workday. The man claims to be from another planet (the fifth patient that day to claim such a thing) and will only go by “Mr. Butler” after stealing George’s last name from his ID badge. The patient goes on and on and won’t let George leave the room, claiming ridiculous things such as flying a spaceship shaped like a Victorian-style home with a lovely wraparound porch, and landing said ship directly on top of George’s own house. After finally cutting off the conversation and dodging every manipulative attempt by his charge nurse to convince him to stay and work, George finally gets to go on his date with Eliza.
It’s mostly a nice date, but the fact that the date was to celebrate their dating anniversary slips George’s mind. That makes things a little awkward.
That, and the fact that George’s plans to bring Eliza to his house to cuddle up in front of a movie are ruined by the fact that there’s an enormous Victorian-style house sitting right where George’s house once stood.
And is that one of the Voyager probes lodged in its lovely wraparound porch?
About the book
This book is meant to be taken seriously. At all costs. If you are offended by comedy or ridiculous situations, then you’ve come to the right place, because I’ve taken great care in my research to design The Madness of Mr. Butler to be as scientifically accurate as possible. I’ve performed all feats in this book, or at least had a friend try them and tell me what it was like, and what I couldn’t accomplish I Googled, so it’s all factual as hell.
Think planets can’t be miniaturized? They can be. I’ve met a guy who said he did it once. He was playing the saxophone on the side of the street and only charged me a dollar and a ham salad sandwich for the information. That’s a bargain.
Think space pirates don’t exist? Well, tell that to a space pirate. They might not call themselves space pirates, per se, but they will exist nevertheless.
Think throwing a reaction bomb into the sun and then riding the resulting supernova away from danger is a silly idea? Then you obviously haven’t tried it. I’ll admit it’s a difficult thing to do, but with enough Googling, anything is possible.
The Madness of Mr. Butler is mostly biography. Sure, there are some embellishments, as biographies are mostly boring without a little flair mixed in. But the facts are factual, and the science is so hard, you won’t believe it. Trust me.
You should order this book if you care about the reason the Earth is safe from one of the greatest threats it has ever faced and learning about the people who stepped up to face the threat we faced to its face.
What are you waiting for? Harder science? More operatic space?
The Madness of Mr. Butler is a hard space opera so hard with facts the book doubles as a weapon because of its hardness.
I’d say more, but I know you’ve already bought a copy. Thanks for caring about facts.
And no laughing, unless you laugh hard.
Preorder here. Only $7.99 for an ebook and $13.99 for a paperback.